rcsart

“Kids now a days don't have ANY discipline” donbb82. After reading your post and I’m glade just like yourself that I did grow up with these attitude adjustments and did learn to respect others. Not just for adults and law enforcement, but everyone that I knew or met. I’m really interested to understand how the younger generations of parents explain this rise in criminal activity. How can no boundaries, lack of discipline, no understanding of respect, and total disregard for life and authority not possibly be largely to blame? It is true that kids will be kids, I did stupid stuff like stealing gum, pop bottles for the deposit money, playing in farmers ponds, building M-80 pretty stupid could have been seriously injured, playing door bell ditch after dark, throwing water balloons and snowballs at cars another really dangerous act. It sure wasn’t starting fires, defacing property, assaulting people on the street, shooting them in the face with paintball guns, throwing soda with or without hot sauce at them. I never would have dared talking back to a grown up weather they were right or wrong IMO, was and still am respectful to law enforcement, and for the most part have always been treated with respect by them in return. I did have fun growing up, and if that fun crossed the line I knew there was a risk of being caught, I also knew if I did get caught my rear was going to be spanked and a stiff restriction was going to be added depending on how bad the misbehavior was. A lot of the things I had the opportunity to involve myself in was never attempted by me knowing full well I didn’t want to do the time for the crime. I do not feel I missed out on anything in life. Now with all the violence, lack of respect, disregard for life, due mostly to the lack of parental guidance. It’s just easier to kill the victim of your wrong actions, leaving no witnesses so you don’t get hassled, and no fear of consequences just the lack of hassle associated. All three of my kids have had discipline, they do understand the meaning of respect, they do not rear law enforcement but do respect it, and they do understand if they screw up I’m not screaming foul in their behalf to get them out of the trouble they got their selves into, they will have to do the time for their crimes. They’re not warped from the spankings they got, or the restrictions imposed, not time out what a bunch of crap. And now at the age of 14, 17, and 21 have managed to keep their noses clean. I do not regret being their parent, nor do I feel bad for them or others around them that I did parent them in an attempt to mold them into who they are today. I don’t take total credit for who they are, I did give them the space to practice what we as parents and grand parents taught them, they made mistakes and learned from them. They also came to me for guidance asked questions to which in our digital age I pointed them in the direction to find all the answers available to make an informed decision not solely based on my opinions. So in my opinion it is possible to be a parent, to discipline your children, to teach them right from wrong, and teach them respect without doing them harm. It in my opinion is a crime raise a child, to be their friend in fear they wont like us, and turn them lose on the world to learn it all after they move out of our homes.

rcsart

You can respect kids without having to agree with activity that is way out of bounds. Kids addicted to meth in grade school isn't within anyones bounds in my opinion. Taking a gun to school for any reason is not within bounds, driving drunk or high is not within bounds and assulting others is not within these bounds no matter how damn funny someone might think it is. I can respect they are young and will make mistakes and I will still love them but I'm not going to ever agree with the changing world allowing others to act any damn way they please.

captain howdy

Sure you can respect kids kinds without agreeing with their activities but most don't. People only like to complain about how bad younger generations are and group them all together as some big evil youth threat no matter how much good or positive they do. I'm a firm believer in showing a person as much respect as they treat me with. For example if I was just having fun skateboarding at a private business and a security guard came up to me and said, "Look you know you aren't supposed to be here because this is private property so move on." I would snatch my board up and walk off so I didn't even skate for one more second on their property and give that man no problems what so ever because he was cool, showed me the proper respect, and was just doing his job. Now you take the same scenario but rather than that adult showing a little respect and properly doing their job you replace them with a power hungry non-respectful ****ty life fake cop security guard who yells at you or tries to grab you or your board then they were catching my board upside their head. When I was growing up and even today my level of respect is directly proportionate to the level of respect I'm shown. There are no other determining factors to it like age, sex, race, clergy, etc... It has nothing to do with my upbringing because these are decisions I wholly made on my own that were healthy for my own individuality and self being. Everyone chooses their own path in life regardless of your parents. I can site many examples from growing up of so called perfect home lives with perfect parents and proper parental guidance where the child grew into a criminal or drug addict by no real fault of their parent. The person themselves made wrong decisions and had to deal with the consequences. We can argue all day about how disrespectful younger generations are but I doubt anyone other than myself and maybe a few others are going to argue about how disrespectful and delusional the older generations are. You can't really expect most people that grew up 30, 40, or more years ago to understand what it's like growing up now days either. Also......... improperly disciplining your child like through ass whoppings pushes them further away from you and not having a close bond with your child is a parent’s biggest mistake.

Edit: I should clarify the board to the head statement. That was only if grabbed or pushed. If the person was just yelling or being a dick it was usually the bird or a moon with a little return yelling or a smart ass comment and then ride off.

captain howdy

rcsart I have to add a personal opinion and I don't mean to offend you so don't take this the wrong way.......It sounds like you raised three intelligent kids but rather than patting yourself on the back for your strict parenting skills you should be praising your three kids for making wise choices and the taking the proper actions in life. Ultimately all the choices you make in life are your own.

rcsart

CH I've never felt anger toward you nor have I felt disrespected by you, in our debates and certainly hope you never have. I sure do not break my arm patting my own back ......."I don’t take total credit for who they are, I did give them the space to practice what we as parents and grand parents taught them, they made mistakes and learned from them. They also came to me for guidance asked questions to which in our digital age I pointed them in the direction to find all the answers available to make an informed decision not solely based on my opinions."...... I give them full credit for the paths they have chosen, and I reassure them often of how proud I am of them and tell them I love them. I by no means abused my kids popping them on the hand or bottom it wasn't a beating just a wake up call, and the punishment fit the crime. The punishment was discussed between the child in trouble at the time, me, and my wife. Letting the child have a fair say in what they thought the punishment should be. Most of the time I had to reduce their punishment suggestions, and they usually got off restriction early for good behavior.

captain howdy

That's cool. I guess because I'm younger we come from different schools of parenting. I'm more the type to provide positive reinforcement for doing right, good, or just plain being smart or loving. When the do something wrong explain what it was, why it was wrong, and the possible repercussions of their actions then give them a punishment they'll actually regret like no TV, no video games, no phone, no swimming, no playing outside, no friends over, etc. for a set period of time. If they don't listen or continue to act bad the punishment becomes more severe like a combination of the above or a longer period of time. Hitting kids just doesn't work IMAO. I think I'll get better results my way and you think you'll get better results your way. I grew up not that long ago and had my kids young so I can still be kind of close in age and not too out of touch with their generation. I noticed while growing up that parents who were closer in age to their children seem to have a better relationship with their kids than parents who were further in age than their children. It would have probably been better for me financially and gave me more time to enjoy life without children if I had waited until I was more established but I didn't want to miss out on that bond. Hell I'm only 19 years old than my step daughter and my mom is 21 years older than me.

mizzouHHR

CH I have to disagree with you on this one. My wife and I didn't marry until we were 25 years old, and didn't have our first child until 6 years later. Our second we had at 37. That said, we have a great relationship with our kids. I have no problem being a friend to my son, while maintaining discipline, and we are very close. Of course that could all change with time, as he is just 9 years old, but I can't imagine ever not being close to him. I know you didn't direct the comment at any one person, but I had to respond to get another opinion out there.

Long story short, I believe your relationship with your kids is not dependant on age, but how you spend your time with them. There are many ways to raise your child, and as long as there is no abuse, and you spend time with them, there is no wrong way, and I believe you are doing a great job with your kids, even if it is different than I may raise mine.

donbb82

I agree CH that children need to be respected also. Times are different now then when I grew up, but the children (not saying all children) of today are more violent than 20, 30 or 40 years ago, there has to be a reason for that.

quest51210

i had a DWI once...only cost me $6K

1HotHHR

To many parents just want to be their childrens friends and not their parents.
Parenting first, friends second.
Respect first, questions second.

3 Questions one right answer?
I want to raise my children:
to be educated
to be grateful
to be wealthy
LOVE always.

See ya down the road
Bud-Harvey

Grateful is the answer